Saturday I met up with an old friend and told him about Joe. My friend wanted to meet him. I convinced him. He came to where I was and we walked together back. We played a drinking card game. I got drunk. There was a truth and dare card. I picked dare, they wanted me to kiss Joe. I couldn’t. Damn it. We waited for my roommate to get back from the bar. Then we walked back to our building and went to Joe’s room. I sat on his bed and we talked. He showed me the girl that broke his heart. I want to fight her. Then I got into Paul’s bed. Paul hates people in his bed. I DID IT!!!! I wasn’t tired when I was up there so I decided to tell Joe everything. I told him we are going to get married and if we did the music would be great. I proceeded to say I want to hug and cuddle with him. That if I brought him to a party with me. I would get territorial. I really like Joe. I would love to date him but we are friends so I don’t have a clue what would happen. He changed my outlook on rap music Drunk confessions are the best. I am so confused ugh “/
So over a week ago I went to the Buck game in Milwaukee, WI for a friend’s pseudo birthday party. We took a school bus and only had to pay $20. We all got drunk on the way there. I noticed this guy sitting kind of across from me but I couldn’t remember his name much. While I was talking to these people behind me he kept staring at me. He could have talked to me. We got to the Bradley Center and got to our seats and had fun watching the game. A drunk group is the best group. At a point of time me and this girl wanted to go and walk around so we had the guy that was staring at me watch them. While sitting behind him I noticed how veiny his arms and hands were. I think that is just so attractive. Then I seen his eyes and just died. By this time I knew his name. Andrew 🙂 After the game we got on the bus and didn’t even take a bathroom break. We dance and laughed and had a great time. Andrew knew like all the music I was playing. We all calmed down and sat down. This guy started give this girl that was laying down a back massage and Andrew was like I want a one. So being me I offered one. I first was doing it through all his layers and then I put my hands up his shirts and I was massaging his back. I did it for a while then we just sat touching knees. I wanted to kiss him soo bad but I was too nervous. So for the last 30-45 min of the ride I thought about it but didn’t do anything. If you know me I am like the least nervous person. I just do what I want and I couldn’t do it. I was even drunk and my nervousness stopped me. So then I asked him for his number. I got it and when we got back home I texted him and told him how cute I thought he was. He said thanks but that he wasn’t looking for a relationship. I said I am scared of commitment. Then he texted me back like we could be friends with benefits. I said fine when I woke up the next morning. We didn’t talk much after that. the next Thursday comes around and by this time I have the thing that girls every month. I woke up that morning like all I want to do is cuddle. Funny thing after I was done with work and doing stuff with my roomie Andrew texts me. I was like all he wants is the cat. Too bad I can’t give it to him. So I asked if we could cuddle he said I can make the rules. I died after that. I got back to my room, got nervous because he opened the can. Then he came and got me. We got to his place and went and layed down. I told him like everything. No filter. I wanted to get to know him and I wanted him to get to know me. He smelled great! We were laying there then I asked him what he thought of me when he first say me. He flipped it and asked me I said “why is this guy that keeps staring at me, I won’t bite he can talk to us.” I told him that after I gave him the back massage I wanted to kiss him so bad but I was nervous. He asked so I make you nervous. I said yes then we started kissing. We kissed for a long time. I loved but hated it because I just wanted to have a nice sex session. Fuck being a girl. At a point of time he was laying between my legs. It was torture but I liked it. He kept grabbing my breasts. They were soo tender that it was turning me the fuck on. Then he was kissing my chest. I wanted to fade into ecstasy but I couldn’t. I asked if he shaved or if he was a bushman so I just checked then I went a little further. He is thick “types while biting lip” Then later that night I told him that sometimes I cannot gauge my suction in my mouth sometimes. He said “I wouldn’t know.” He shouldn’t have said that because I love suckin dick and he got to take a test drive……In my mouth lol I did it until I heard him moan a couple of times. He is that kind of guy that doesn’t like you kissing after that. So at that time all I had on was my yoga capris and a shirt. Tanks and bra were on the ground. He held my boob while we slept. I loved every moment of the cuddle and make-out session. He is my new FWB but its on his terms. I will tell you about out sex after it happens.
The end of 2013 brought a lot of deep thinking and sex with friends. That wasn’t working for me anymore. I made a resolution that I wasn’t going to have sex until I went on a date. Yes, a 20 year old super social attractive thick mixed girl has never been on a date before. People don’t believe me. I just never had anyone have enough courage to come up to me and ask me on a date. Dateless at the age of 20 sucks. I am worth more than sex with randoms and after having multiple deep conversations with my sister’s current girlfriend, I decided to change my way. I have been celibate for almost 4 1/2 months now. I feel better. I know the next time I do have sex it might just hurt and it will be with someone that is not a total random. I will tell you about the possibles in another post. January 20th I got back to school. I was glad to be back. I missed everyone so very much. I thrive off the energy of people especially my friends. Started the second semester of my sophomore in college. This semester is almost over. I should have studied more but isn’t that what everyone wants to do. I absolutely love my African American Literature teacher and class. It is so wonderful and eye opening. Other then that I really don’t care about any other of my classes. I applied to be a Community Advisor, like an RA in the residents halls. I got the job and I meet my staff on Thursday May 1st. I am so excited. Other than that not much has happened. I get to keep my roommate I have right now. I love this girl. I would do anything for her. She is the best friend I could have ever had. Yeah, other than that is all I have to say about 2014 for now. I will tell stories in other posts. Enjoy 🙂 Much love ♥