I stopped looking…

My friends once told me that I should stop looking for a man because once I do he will find me. I stopped and it’s very nice, yes I am still boy crazy as fuck but what can I say I love the male species. I cannot help it. The night I told myself to stop looking was probably one of the saddest nights of my life. I wasn’t even in my dorm. I actually was in the one I lived in the previous year. I miss that place. I made myself in that dorm and some great memories and great friends. Long story short a lot happened when I lived and loved there. Back to the story of that night. I then laid on the floor in my friend’s dorm room and thought about guys a million times more than I did previously. Then I walked to the lobby of the building and sat on the couches. I got really sad about not thinking about guys and I actually had a break down. My best guy friend came up to me to give me a hug and I didn’t accept it. Then one of my girl friends came up and I let her in for a hug. I thought to myself if I was going to stop pursuing guys then I should stop with my guy friends too. I sat there for a while but after that break down I had a breakthrough. Guys are pigs and I am starting to see that more now than ever. They want the cat. Meow! My cat is too precious to let them in that. It’s a sacred tomb that has boobie traps and if you fuck up you will be cursed. Hitting all the right spots will get you the treasure. Okay I am done with comparing my vagina to a sacred Egyptian tomb. I have hit some rough patches on the route through my journey but hey I have been celibate for almost 5 weeks now. For me that’s a long time tbh. Another post will explain why I say that. Honestly I have never been in a relationship. How that happened I still don’t know. Oh wait I was a chubby mixed girl in high school that loved white guys that were never interested in dating me. That’s why I came to college bitches, to enjoy life with more open minded individuals. I promised until the day me and “him” meet I will always keep my life updated. I forgot how much I love typing about how crazy my life is. So moral of the story I stopped looking now patience is a virtue and my academics are way too important. I’m in college to further my education not find my future love. I wouldn’t mind if that happened though. Go to College or do something else in life. As my wellness lecture teacher says “Something is better than nothing.” My trying is something and it’s going wonderful. In my mind I will survive. In reality I will hit some roadblocks but it’s my job to conquer them all. Go Me!!!

It just happened to me…well kind of

The story begins as,

Once upon a time I was being bored on Facebook (a thing many people can say) in late May 2013 and I was looking at one of my friend’s profile and seen this really attractive white guy comment on her picture. I was at first reluctant to add him but then I was like what the hell might as well go for it. I did and he accepted my friend request. I was really excited, honestly. He was a skinnier description of my perfect white guy. I love tall skinny white boys so much and he just about fit that. We started talking and that night was so bored I was writing confessions for some reason, so he asked me to tell him why I added him. I said exactly

“confession: I accidentally stumbled on your profile today and i think you are really attractive. that’s why i added you. You accepted and I was so surprised. You seem like someone fun to hang out with.”
then I proceeded to ask him why he accepted my friend requests. He said exactly
“confession: I accepted your add because you’re cute and have huggggeee boobs.”
that didn’t offend me at all.  I honestly have heard that a lot. We proceed to message. I joke around with him yesterday. Will you marry me is what I asked in a joking manner. He said yes. It did make me smile.
A few months earlier he recommended I talk to his friend he lives closer to me. So I did. His friend wasn’t what I really thought was cute but he was nice and I wouldn’t have mind hanging out with him. His eyes were beautiful. He fit all the things I like but his gauges were just way too big for me. I liked talking to him. Mind you both of them would never Skype me. Which confused me a lot because you have a webcam to take pictures with but no Skype. I just let it be.
Mind you they both would send me nude pictures of themselves. Face for the original guy and no face for the friend. I am not grossed out about those pictures. They were quite interesting. That was that though.
Today was the day….
So I was messaging the friend today just about my best friend listening to my rant about my white guy that hasn’t found me and how being mixed is hard because all the white guys think that I am black because of my skin tone but I am mixed. My mother is white to the point where we can trace her family tree back to Ellis Island. Straight Norwegian. She said I was so dramatic. Maybe even too dramatic. I just want my white knight already. He told me that she will stop saying that when she finds out I have got the biggest d*** in the east. He lives in Indiana. That’s still in the Midwest in my books. He agreed. Then my best friend I was on the phone with was like let me see what the original guy looks like. Something was off. She then said what if the friend and him are the same person. I was like that couldn’t be true. They both sent me nudes of themselves to me. I asked the friend if his guy was fake. He tried to ask me about the sign he made. That sign could be for anyone. My name wasn’t on it, it wasn’t real. Then I said I don’t know what to believe anymore. He was taking 10 years so I said well that was a good enough answer. Then he said that he can’t make me believe in something I don’t. Then I asked him if we can Skype then I will know he is real….no reply….I asked why would you lie….no reply…. I then lastly asked Can you just tell me the truth…..no reply. Then I started to look up his name on Google. I got nothing but a criminal from Florida. I then looked up my name on Google to see what came up. Pictures of me from my Facebook and any other account with my name on it came up. I then looked back on Facebook both profiles were deleted. I told my friend on the phone and she was like I cannot believe it. I was shocked. I caught them in their own lie.
I got Catfished in a weird kind of way but it was like a double and no feelings were hurt.
It’s kind of liberating. I told you my life was crazy, That’s just the present.
My advice for all you internet freaks is ask them to Skype if they say no that should be the biggest red flag you will ever see. I’m still shocked I need to tell my roommate. My life = insane. Join the ride of your life if you want to I promise it will be safe

When I first realized…..

Time to get on the subject I talk about the most….. white guys. I currently go to a predominantly white institution and I swear I am in whiteboy heaven everyday. I see a new attractive one everyday. My infatuation began long ago.

The beginning was when I was in preschool. My first kiss was actually with a black boy. I remember that day vividly. We were all laying on the big rug in class. The lights were off and I was facing my friend. We were putting our hands in cement as an art project that day. The boy asked me if I knew how to french kiss. I honestly was modeling it after the Rugrats in Paris movie. I did “know” how to kiss. We did and got caught.  Both of us were sent home shortly after. That was just the beginning of my interest in the male species.  After that I stopped liking black boys because of one I was in school with. He would always talk about my shoes. I vowed to myself that day I would never date a black boy. My first boyfriend was actually half black and half Mexican. That lasted like .2 seconds. Oooo I really like him. My second boyfriend was actually fully black. I know sad story, I love white men but never dated one. I am sure it will happen one day. The wait is killing me though. I never got a chance to date a white boy before college because all of the ones I went to school discriminated and the one white boy I actually liked ended up dating my best friend for roughly 2 years. It was a slap in the face.As I was saying I love white men and everything about them. I love their hair and skin and smiles and all that other good stuff about them pretty much. I have always been a fan of long white man hair. Hockey players have the best man flow ever. That’s what I call long white man hair. “Man Flow” (says in a Barry White voice in her head). Since I have got to college my boy craziness has gotten worse by an infinite amount. I have began to say white men are my kryptonite. The day I am found by one I will be more than happy. I really just want to take cute pictures with him and have someone to cuddle cuddle. Knowing that he is mine will be the best I ever had. I could go on and on but I have so much to talk about that I don’t want to tell something I want to highlight in another post in this one. It’s hard because I have so much to say about them. Next subject, please.

Intro to me ♥

Love, I am super infatuated with it. Just my luck that it never comes my way. My family always tells me to stop looking, let him come to you. Well I can’t help it. Like a doctor once told me “We were put on this earth to find a person that we want to live with for the rest of our lives and reproduce, and keep the chain going.” She also told me that I am worth the wait. Oh I should give you a little background before coming to the present. I am a mixed girl from Wisconsin. My mother is white and father is African American. Being mixed is not an easy thing. It is a constant battle between two very different races. On top of me being mixed I am 6 ft. The biggest struggle of my life. Yeah playing volleyball was great with this given height but finding someone is yet again a struggle. The average height of a male in the United States of America is 5’10. I exceed that by 2 1/2 inches. Seriously I am the tallest person in my immediate family. Yes, that means I am taller than my dad.  Been like that for a few years now. Other than that I would like to say that I am a VERY open person. I talk about everything. I’m currently a first semester sophomore. That is all for now. I promise there will be much more. On to the next subject.